i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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