hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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