Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
