So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
