I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
