I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
