Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
