the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
