New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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