What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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