let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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