I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just blew my weed a kiss
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
