ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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