the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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