I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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