i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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