My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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