Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
