We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
