remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
