Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
