You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
