I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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