my sisters under your porch take her home
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
