so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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