You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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