oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
