Can Purell be used as lube?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
