Dude my mom stole all your condoms
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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