If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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