His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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