Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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