Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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