You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
