If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
