you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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