Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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