I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
