your parents love me but you hate me
Kiss
Puke
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You are the jesus of drinking
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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