I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
