I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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