Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
