I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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