NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
What happened to fro yo and sex?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
