Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
