"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
