all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
