Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
