I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
