I must be too annoying 4 u.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm passing your future prison.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
