mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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