therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
